Growing up many of us had a hard time living through our teenage years. I doubt you would ever talk to someone who said it was a breeze. There was always some sort of issue that was faced, for some it was self esteem issues which manifest themselves in all sorts of nasty ways and for other like myself and many teen age girls especially it was a struggle with my parents, my mom particularly as my Dad past away when I was young and my Step Father respected that he wasn't my 'Dad' and couldn't discipline me. This fell onto my poor Mom, and I felt like everything was her fault.
I think all teenagers want to escape their lives at some point, for me I always wanted to runaway. Not runaway from life itself but run away from the people and things that I felt were making it hard. I never could understand why someone would decide to end their life though I know that it crosses many peoples minds, it never crossed mine. Never seriously anyways.
And now as my sister has been in a social workers office for over an hour and a half because she told her doctor she was seriously considering taking her own life and I just can't comprehend it. I am a very empathic person but I can't feel what it must feel like to see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Especially because I escaped my teen age years and saw with relief that upon graduation and moving out for me it was a whole different world. Like I jumped through the looking glass from the nightmare that was teenage hood into the real world of new beginnings and possibilities.
I must put a disclaimer here that my life in general was fantastic, I had great friends, a boyfriend that truly loved me and hobbies that kept me busy, it was my home life and the constant fighting and screaming between my mother and I as we both struggled to gain control of my life (though that will be another post) that was my torture. And one day I left and now my mom and I are great friends, like none of it ever happened, and this changed pretty much instantaneously. And I just wish that all teenagers could understand that everything will change. Everything will get better.
EVERYTHING WILL GET BETTER!
On a side note:
Through out my life and even from my sister I have heard ' You are so strong, you've been through so much' And here's the thing - Its not like I am strong because I have been through so much, I didn't have a choice! Life brings difficult things and great things and no matter what comes our way the only thing we can be sure of is that time here on earth is going to keep ticking. That's what my grandma taught me, if your willing to wait for it tomorrow will come, and you know what? It might bring something great!