Signs

Owls have always been quite illusive to me. I have only seen them 3 times, the most recent being last week. But let me start with the first time. 

The first time I ever saw an owl was with one of my best friends Jonathan, we were driving; as we had spent so much time doing together, and I remember thinking about how cool it was, yes this may sound kind of lame but I live in the mountains and it wasn't until I was 22 years of age that I saw my very first owl. I will never forget this, it was perched in a tree and I only saw it for a second or two but it seemed like a mini milestone moment. 

The second time I saw an owl was 12 days after Jonathan had passed away. This time I got a much better view, I was in the passenger side of Jonathan's car once again. I was traveling with his wife and daughter and we were on our way to the beach, it was a cool spring day and we all needed to take a break and decided to convoy with some friends to a beach about an hour away. We were driving along a road that has only recently been paved and is still primarily used for logging and is usually quite deserted. We were traveling along a long straight stretch and this huge bird which I recongised by its very flat face to be an owl dive bombed the car. I could have reached out the window and touched it and its noble eyes looked straight into the vehicle. To any one else it would have looked as though this wise creature were trying to commit suicide but to both Chelsea and I we knew this was merely Jonathan saying hello - and scaring the hell out of us!

The third time was last week, I drove into work and realized that I had forgotten my lap top at home which is 45 minutes away. Furthermore I was also nearly out of gas and had noticed that the only gas station in between was closed. Now at this point I had to make a decision: do I go into the next town to fill up, likely adding about 20 minutes to my journey or do I chance it on the next town that is more 'on my way' and was about 20 minutes away. I decided to chance it. I had two bars left on my gas meter, well as soon as I turned onto the highway towards home, the 'no turning back point' it dropped to one bar - now why is it that the first half of the gas tank seems to last so much longer then the last, this I always wonder, and as that second to last bar disappeared my stomach dropped. I have already realized that if I run out of gas this will likely take about an hour out of my trip rather then the 20 minutes that I had previously been concerned with and as I thought my most positive thoughts and said 'come on baby - you can make it' to my car this owl swooped down right across the road in front of me. And once again it scared the hell out of me, while at the same time providing me with the comfort to know that I was going to make it. Though let me tell you when I was still 10 minutes away and that last bar disappeared I became slightly desperate, I still knew that this must be Jono telling me that I was going to make it.
A sign. 
And I did, by the skin of my teeth I am sure but I did.

Approaching 2011 with the Leadership of the Cougar

Every year I look forward to doing some goal setting at the end of December, often due to the holiday I end up doing mine the first couple of days in January. While I have set up some professional goals I have been waiting for some quiet time to set my personal goals. I have thought quite a bit about it but I do intend to write out a detailed plan. When I want something I plan.... despite what 'The Secret' says, I believe that it requires a little more then some positive thinking - Positive thinking can go a long way; however I believe that they need to be a little more directed. Sitting down and writing out your intentions will certainly help you to achieve them, especially if you add the actions of following though.
This is without a doubt the best way for me to achieve what I want.

That being said last night I kept dreaming about Cougars, so I looked up the totem and here is what is says:

This is a very powerful, but very difficult totem.  Cougar medicine is the lesson of the use of power, how to be an effective, fair leader and not abuse power.

This totem’s gift is how to balance power, intention, strength and grace.  It is the balance of body, mind and spirit.   The first responsibility of leadership is truth.  Remember:  Responsibility is no more than the ability to respond to any situation.  Cougar can teach you how to bring out your power and fill your heart with it that will enable you to take charge of your life.  You can use Cougar power to defend yourself or to attack.  (This is an excerpt taken from Lin's Domain ) I think this is a great philosophy to take with me into the New Year, and tonight as I set my goals and intentions forth I will be taking this into consideration.

Being a part of the Food Chain

I live in a small town, this town in located on a big lake and most everyone either lives on the waterfront or else on the mountainside. I live on the mountainside so not only is the town surrounded by the forest but where my back yard ends the forest begins... or it is all overlapping really. I grew up here but left to find work in the city for quite a few years. I have always loved this community that I never stopped calling home and I moved back a little less then a year ago. I was immediately happy when I moved back but wanted to take some time before I wrote about it. I wanted to make sure that my feelings were long lasting, I wanted to get out of the 'honeymoon' phase and give myself some time to process - but I feel the same. I feel like my life is so much more rich with what is truly important.
I feel so much more deeply connected to the rest of the planet.

It is amazing how quickly the city can disconnect you from nature and therefore disconnect you from a much bigger picture. It is so easy in the city to get lost in the hustle and bustle, not only that but to forget what lies beyond the confines of concrete. I mean sure you can watch a documentary about birds, or sharks but to step into their world you truly realize that we are living amongst these amazing creatures. Last night as I was driving home from work there was a herd of Elk on the road, I stopped - well of course I did they're friggin' huge! I watched them for quite some time, they were in a big grassy yard just on the side of the road, I saw 2 bulls fighting, I saw Mama Cows standing aside with their calves, and the rest of the herd which I counted out to be 22 in total grazing away on the cool grass. When you witness such an event it really makes you feel rather insignificant. Like you are a small part of something much bigger, a much bigger picture which is truly amazing.

In the city you are the strongest link on the food chain, but when you walk through the woods and see these huge creatures, or when you go outside and there is a huge bear in your yard, or you catch a glimpse of the ever illusive cougar you realize that you are rather low on the food chain and it really brings everything in perspective. You realize that you aren't the 'something' you are only a part of something. (And if you have ever been into a bar in the city you will see that there are many people who have not learned this lesson - lol!)

This knowledge is not only truly humbling but also I find it rather comforting. There is a certain feeling that you get when walking along a stream, when you realize that this stream is connected to a river and that river flows to the Ocean creating an amazing network that connects all of the worlds water, it makes you feel connected to this amazing planet in a way that nothing else can.
I am so glad that I have this connection to nature, and I encourage you all to find a deeper connection that you may already have.

Skepticism

I fully believe in psychic abilities and love to interact with those who have a good grasp on them. (I would like to note that I believe we all possess the ability to develop these abilities)
Anyways... feeling a little perplexed I decided it would be fun to go and have my tea leaves read, so I went with a friend and we both had amazing 30 minute reading incorporating the tea leaves, tarot cards the a clairvoyant, I had never had it done and was really curious. Because so much can be said in 30 minutes I had the session recorded onto a tape... a little old fashioned but my only option.

I left feeling great, so clear and hopeful for what lies ahead of me. Everything was as I thought with a lot of victory.

I was planning on listening to my tape right away but the old tape player that I thought I had in my basement was actually just an old radio. Then I kept thinking about the things she had said and began to doubt it, things can't really be that good can they? Were some of her answers vague? Was I offering too much information to her? Maybe they were just lucky guesses, after a few days I was skeptical about the whole thing, even though when I left I felt so sure, and like her answers were straight forward and direct.

Then I finally borrowed a tape player and listened to it, and using my own intuition I was able to understand what she said and even see further into the things that I wasn't able to focus on because I was too busy thinking about the last thing or the next thing, alot can happen in 30 minutes!

My point is that the answers are within ourselves, it wasn't until I was able to step back and listen to my heart that the clear answers stood out to me, and while I think she was bang on it was up to me to interpret it the way that resonates with myself, so go ahead and ask for help and when you do so be open to everything they have to say and then listen to your own heart about what it all means.

Questions for Spiritual Leaders

 

Like others I follow many people, from the teachings of spiritual leaders, Reiki masters, my teachers right to people who I resonate with on Youtube - yes there can be a great deal of information on YouTube  and generally I take what resonates with me and try to apply it to my daily life. But even as a Reiki Master myself I will admit that this is much easier said then done. I would love to be a raw foodist who meditates for hours each day and finds time to offer service to others and immerse myself in new spiritual practices constantly but sometimes I feel like I am the only one who admits that sometimes this is not possible - and that is ok. I do what I can when I can, and I don't beat myself up if I end up watching tv, or eating something that will block my energy flow, I mean ofcourse I am mindful and I try to be who I want to be but there is something beautiful about surrendering into who you are at that very moment. There is something absolutely amazing about being so comfortable with yourself that you can admit you are not perfect and feel good about it. 

Maybe I am not on as fast a track to 'enlightenment' as others, but I know that I will get there and I think that is what is important. So here is my question - Am I alone on this? Do those who would call themselves spiritual leaders sometimes embellish on how closely they follow the regime that they preach? Am I asking do raw foodists never eat cooked food? Do vegetarians always shy from animal products? Do meditation experts practice as much as they tell us to? Do Reiki masters really stay zen and true to the motto 'Just for today I will not anger' surely some days you anger??

And the real question if you do slip up, why will you not admit it? 

Be true to who you are - Love yourself - All of yourself!